Monday, November 14, 2011

How Many Work Gloves Does it Take?

Curious minds want to know...

Exactly how many gloves does it take to fix an old house, operate a tractor, and otherwise protect hands from potential harm?

I did a little clean-up in the glove basket the other day, and found the following.

The answer is fourteen.  I have it on good authority:

I know exactly what Eric would say about the matter:

The first pair is my favorite pair.  They're like slippers, but for my hands.  I promise to love, honour and protect these...wait, those were my wedding vows.   (These have duct-tape repairs.  They might be on their way out.  Eric might mourn their loss - for about a day).

The second pair is just as important, but they're lined with Thinsulate.  The real stuff.  The label proves it.  These are used for tractor driving.

The third pair - OK, impulse purchase from the feed store.  Where else can you find suede mitts with removable liners?  These visit the wood shed a lot during winter months.

The fourth pair - spanking new.  Don't touch.  If gloves were like cars, these are Ferraris.  These are Special Occasion gloves.  Could be worn with a tuxedo to the next Classic Tractor Pull at Pebble Beach.

The fifth and sixth pair - identical but with varying degrees of wear.  Lined for winter.  Thoughtful wife found these at Costco.  (Thoughtful wife even bought a new package recently, and then took above inventory.  Don't need to tell you those gloves have now been hidden from view).

The seventh pair - they have urethane foam all over them.  These are for outside insulating projects.

The eighth, ninth and tenth pairs - plain old ordinary working gloves with varying degrees of wear.  Some lined, some unlined.  Depends on the temp outside and the messiness of the job.

The eleventh pair has little rubber nubs on them.  They were cheap (so they obviously don't count) and someone needed them to change out the windows.  (Note:  Wife also got a pair.  Husband also thoughtful).

The twelfth pair - lump with 8, 9 and 10.  These normally live in the car and take trips to the lumber yard.  And then they end up in the house...and then someone forgets to put them back in the car...and then someone buys an extra pair at the lumberyard during the next trip....and thus the cycle perpetuates and gloves procreate as if by magic.

The thirteenth pair - don't mess with these.  These are special chainsaw gloves.  Not to be mistaken for wood-splitting gloves.  They're probably some sort of Kevlar/Nomex hybrid.

Last but not least, the fourteenth pair -  the last remaining pair from a five-pack.  One finger worn.  RIP - they're on their way out.

So we have gloves for chopping wood, gloves for changing oil, gloves for filling the tractor...gloves for fall and winter and spring and summer.

Now that things have degraded to a Dr. Seuss level, I'm outta here.

I've got some boots to inventory.


Miriam said...

This is so funny! I was thinking about doing the same thing with shoes. Your photo is a lovely piece of art - we could decorate our houses with photos of all the gloves, or all the shoes, or all the hand tools, or all the tarps, or all the buckets, or all the . . .

Robin said...

I love that you have all the gloves labeled! That is so funny. I think you may have more pairs then us.

Shim Farm said...

Miriam, I was thinking I could put the work gloves in the outline of a Christmas tree, but then I figured, they're pretty just the way they were, and from there, the photo simply became blog fodder! I know we speak the same language!

Robin - Perez Hilton was my inspiration, sad to say! LOL...I used MS Paint to make my "edits".

What's sad is I didn't hunt down the "indoor" work gloves LOL...these were just "outdoor" work gloves. I think someone in our house need to work on minimizing!

Glad you both got a chuckle out of our OOC (out of control) work glove situation!

Ron said...

Heh... I enjoyed, and can relate.

All I know is that I don't have enough gloves here... I know that because the drawer that holds all the gloves is empty.

Or maybe I just need to get them back in the drawer...

One of these days, I fully intend to get as organized with my gloves as I am with my clothes, designating "work" vs. "town", and wearing out the former before putting the latter to work.

eagergridlessbeaver said...

..I am afraid to count ours..I know I have 6 sets of your 13's..I love them..we have 3 or 4 bins of work gloves..I always seem to lose my right handed glove for some reason. I never throw them out either cause even ratty old gloves are better than only using your hands. If you want to make a mint come up with a way to keep my fingernails clean cause after 5 minutes in my workgloves my fingernails are all grossed up...yes..if I kept them clean this would not happen..but I hate doing work on work gloves.

Shim Farm said...

Hi Ron, yeah, organizing the "work/house" clothes with "WORK WORK" clothes is a challenge. When "town" clothes get raunchy, I take a Sharpie, put a big X on the collar, and into the Rubbermaid bin they go. This is the stuff that can get ruined without hell to pay. Thankfully, Eric wears coveralls outside, I cannot tell you how much this simplifies my life.

Hey Beav, your miracle gloves exist! They're called Dig It Handwear (LOL). Check it out:
I nearly whizzed myself at the thought of you saving your manicure with a pair of too-small girlie gloves. I dunno, but there's vanity, and there's...well, let's just say I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them. LOL.

I wonder what happens with all my right-handed gloves, too. They all wear out first, then I chuck them, and then I'm left with a ton of lefties. It's not fair LOL.

What I'm waiting for is a BIONIC glove...oh the wonders I could do weeding with one. Now THAT would be revolutionary!

Jones Morris said...

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